RHONDA INTL & SPACELAND PRESENTS: Tiger & Woods

I'M BRINGING BACK THE FELINE ITALIC FANATICS Tiger and Woods FOR A SERIOUS SPECTACLE OF DELIRIOUS DANCING & DELICIOUS DISCOFUNK. AND THE BEST PART? THIS IS A $5 SHOW. COP YOUR TIX & GET YOUR LIFE. SEE Y'ALL ON THE DANCEFLOOR. "Tiger & Woods are a rather mysterious twosome. Here's what we know about the production duo: Tiger's first name is Larry and Woods' is David. Oh, wait—come to think of it, those given names seem suspiciously fake as well. But this we are certain of: The pair have been causing a commotion in the slo-mo-boogie and disco-edit worlds as of late, largely through the strength of a series of hand-stamped white labels released over the last year or so on the Editainment label. Then there was that great electro-funked remix of Hundred in the Hand's jangly disco-wave tune "Commotion," and a chugging, totally groovy RA podcast from this past winter. The rather obtuse interview that accompanied that set saw the boys (we're assuming they're male here) claiming that the purpose for their secretiveness was that "it's so easy to get to know things nowadays; for once we tried to keep it spicy like it was back in the day." Fair enough. Looking to the future, while digging in the past, Tiger & Woods use both recognizable and exotic sources supplemented with original production to take you to undiscovered terrains that somehow feel like home. Here's how they met: One day in a fairly dusty basement (digging for records of course), these two fine gentlemen nearly got into a fight over a nameless boogie record which is so rare (super rare!) that even the usual disco detectives hadn't discovered it yet. Actually, they still haven't. Without a name – and only identified by a test pressing sticker dedicated to the NYC-disco-DJ-legend Walter "Hot Trix" Scott – the 72-year old owner of the record store/basement accidentally placed the record on his belt-driven turntable. Turning their heads and smacking their lips, both were so full of lust to get their hands on this precious relic that they both rushed to the booth, waving their hard-earned cash. Some Italian profanities and chest-beating later, Larry and David decided to buy the thing together (the old dude had raised the price sky-high by this point) and take it to Tiger's studio. Unfortunately, the fruit of their teamwork never saw the light of day due to a hard drive crash…and you know what they say…you can't recreate the magic of the moment. But the guys kept on working, and as they timidly presented their early works to a mutual friend (an avid record collector) he gasped: "This is what DJ Sneak should sound like today!"